Feed the Flowers

Anonymous asked:

How long do you plan to stay @ resi?

45 days I think it is

Celebrating my last night here with a big challenge: angel food cake. Then they went on to add all these fruits that I wasn’t expecting, but I finished all of it! I have been working up my courage all week to order some sort of a proper dessert, and today I felt it was time. I also had a nice walk to the healing gardens with my pca, which was kind of fun since it was so dark out. They had everything lit up and you could see the entire city! It hasn’t been too terrible here, but I am ready to go. I just want to wake up tomorrow so I can pack my bags and head out!
Anonymous asked:

it would be so wonderful if you could come home from residential and truly enjoy thanksgiving & the meal with your family. :) try using that as motivation!

YES I am mainly using Christmas as my motivation because it used to be my fave holiday. Over the past four years, the whole season of Christmas has been ruined. In fact, one of my worst nights I remember, back in 2012, was when my mom and I got in the biggest fight on Christmas Eve. I remember going to bed so upset and waking up still upset… I stopped letting myself have seasonal foods and xmas became such a scary occasion. I am Christian and I think I think it has also interfered with my faith so much. Darned eating disorders always messing things up! I am so ready to be done with this life and move on. I want to be happy!!

Anonymous asked:

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. Rumi

And knock them down? Or are barriers a good thing?
So many questions
So little time

Anonymous asked:

Look closely at the present you are constructing: it should look like the future you are dreaming. Alice Walker

I especially like this one as I really need to remember this

Anonymous asked:

was this your first time in the hospital? what was it that got you admitted? are you going to inpatient or residential after?

I’m suspecting you are new to my blog as I have posted a lot about all of these things in the past. I won’t go into depth but I can explain shortly.

This has been my 6th stay in the hospital due to my ed, and second time in this same hospital. I was admitted here 12 days ago after suffering from refeeding syndrome and collapsing in my therapist’s office. After I am discharged (tomorrow) I will be getting ready to leave for a residential program where they expect I’ll be for 6 weeks.

Anonymous asked:

how has your day been? any news on discharge? :-*

Tomorrow 😬😬😬

Anonymous asked:

What crepe restaurant do you go to by you? Sorry if it's personal! Like what is the restaurant called? I live somewhat close to you and I don't know we're to go!

Ask me off anon!

Biggest meal I have had yet and I am feeling so good about it because the whole time my nurse was talking with me and she is just my favorite person ever. I had a veggie burger on a regular bun, sesame green beens, a ginger ale (unpictured), pretzels, and grapes! I am ok. Nothing bad is happening. Oh, and I also get a ten minute walk tonight! We are all pretty sure that I’ll be discharged tomorrow. 😊